Last night Nate and I were meeting up with my Dad and his wife Christy for dinner and a movie. I had went to the gym and was barely getting out of the shower when my dad called and said he was pulling into town. I panicked because I still had to do my hair and makeup which usually takes a while because I have thick hair! I knew I wouldn't have enough time to get all dolled up so I put on a bit of foundation/powder, mascara, and blush. I quickly dried my hair and ran the straightener through it. That is where my regimen changed... usually I section my hair off multiple times and straighten every strand. But this time I didn't. I literally ran it over my hair, taming the frizzies, and ran out the door.
You're probably thinking what does this have to do with anything right? Well it does, I promise. As were driving to the restaurant and began thinking how I felt okay going out in public feeling less than perfect. I was fine knowing my hair was a bit bigger/frizzier than usual. I felt okay with knowing my eyes were not emphasized with shimmery shadow. I honestly felt free.
I know without a doubt that I felt okay with all these imperfections because deep down I finally know how I really feel about myself. I no longer need or want peoples acceptance. I 100% feel okay with myself and for the first time in my life that's all I need.
There is something I want people to understand though. Don't sit there and think "I'll lose weight like she has and I'll feel good like she does now." No! Don't think that way. Look at your life the way it is right now. Whatever it is that you're battling weight, divorce, personal trials, family trials, etc. Know that you are perfect and you are doing the absolute best that you can in this current situation. But don't stay stagnant. If you don't like the way the situation is going or being handled, change it. I honestly get the most confidence and the most empowerment by knowing that I over came hard situations and made myself better.
I Just want people to see that you are enough and you are strong even with all your flaws. I want to know what you feel your flaws are? What do you do to cover them up? Let your flaws shine and be free to express yourself in all your frizzy (in my case anyways!) goodness!
This weeks entries are again not that extensive but I have some awesome things coming up, I promise! I have just enrolled in classes to get my personal trainer certificate and once that is done I'll add a fitness nutrition certificate to it. I am bound and determined to make my passion of weight loss, fitness, and nutrition my career in some way.
My goals with these certificate programs that I'm taking is to gain a better knowledge of how to adapt to different aspects of each clients personal health and goals. At this point I feel like my best advice are for those dealing with PCOS related weight loss issues and fitness/diet questions. I do want to focus mainly on those dealing with this syndrome because I personally know the affects is has on a persons health and emotions. I basically want to be that persons advocate and emotional/physical support system!
I'll start providing meal plans and fitness programs that are tailored each person individually. This can all be provided online or if I'm lucky enough to a person in my area that I can personally work with! If you or anyone you know is interested in this, please let me know. I'll need a Guinea pig to test my skills on :)
I've got big goals for 2015 and I can't wait to accomplish them all! I again want to tell you all thank you for reading this blog and for all the support through comments. I know that I have been dealt the hand of having PCOS and learning how to take my health back for a reason. That reason is to share my experience and knowledge to people in hopes that I can in some way make their lives better.
Yesterday while at the gym, I was on the treadmill doing my end of workout cardio. It was leg day and I literally couldn’t run, my legs were wobbly and I felt I had no control over them. I needed to reach my burn zone for a few more minutes to reach my calorie goal so I pushed myself a bit harder by speed walking on incline. As I was getting my heart rate up, feeling dead tired, I started thinking of how far I’ve come. It wasn’t even about how far I’ve come in the gym, but life in general.
For those of you work out a lot you know what I mean when I tell you I blocked everything out and had this weird moment where I was in my own world with just my thoughts. I literally had a moment where I got this crazy feeling in the pit of my stomach and realized that everything has changed, because I made it change.
I’ll let you in on how I’ve changed. The me before: overweight, unhealthy, pessimistic, scared, submissive, and lonely. The me now: Healthy, optimistic, strong willed, opinionated, and happy. All those things I listed as me before all had excuses attached to them. What I mean is there was something, or someone in my life, that made me that way (which is mostly BS). The things I listed as how I feel now, that’s all me. I have so many AMAZING people in my life, most of which were in my life before, but now instead of saying I’m happy because of someone else; I say I’m happy with myself. Having all you amazing people there with me is just icing on the cake!
In that moment on the treadmill where I felt I couldn’t continue, who was the one pushing me to keep going? Me. On those last 2 squats where I didn’t think I’d make it back to starting position, who found some way to get strength to stand back up? Me. When my life was in shambles who made the hard decisions to start fresh? Me. Who moved out of her safe, little town she’d grown up in all her life to start a new life? Me. And who is happier with herself than ever before? ME!
Starting any new journey in life is scary. There are so many unknowns, what ifs, and worry. My best advice to anyone starting a new journey in life is to just do it. Whether you accomplish what you set out to do or you don’t, you’ll never be unhappy that you tried. Knowing you stepped out of your comfort zone and tried something new will always result in self-fulfillment. Always remember there is not one person in this world that can make you truly, utterly happy but yourself.
Am I the only one who forgets dates I should remember, but remembers dates I wish I could forget? I swear my brain won’t shut off lately no matter how much I try to make it. Today marks 1 year that I miscarried for the 3rd time. While I remember every time it has happened, this one is still so fresh and hurts. I remember every single thing about that day and it makes me so sad to relive it.
I remember waking up that morning going to bathroom and seeing blood rush onto the floor. I remember the horrible cramping and contractions. I remember feeling completely lost. That was seriously one of the worst days of my life but as I look back I realize that good things did come from it.
That day and the days following it has made me completely certain that Nate is without a doubt the man of my dreams. The way he reacted to the miscarriage confirmed that he cares so much for me and that is something that I never felt before. I don’t think he even realizes how much his actions are embedded into my mind, but I’ll never forget the feeling of love I felt that day. He felt so guilty going to work that day, but he had just got a promotion and I knew there was nothing he could do at home, so I made him go. He called and text constantly, making sure I knew he would come home If I needed him. That means more to me than anything, knowing that he’ll always be there for no matter what.
That whole experience has reinforced the lesson I’ve always known, that there is something good to come from most situations. Does it mean that the situation hurts any less, no, but as long as we were taught a lesson that we can use throughout life it can make it that much easier to handle.
Coming home from my family Christmas party on Saturday, Nate and I decided that we want to start treatment again next month. It’s something we both feel is best. I just have this feeling that I am supposed to be trying. I don’t like feeling that I’m not giving something my all and I like to trust my woman’s intuition. I know that it doesn’t mean I’ll necessarily get pregnant this round, but I’ll feel better knowing are giving it %100.
Last night, as we were laying in bed I had a breakdown. I couldn't stop crying because every memory kept flooding over me. Nate wrapped his arms around me and said "Babe you can't give up. That's one of the things I love most about you, you don't let anything stop you." Seriously, the most perfect thing he could have said. I woke up feeling much better and open minded. I know what it's like to give up on everything and I know what it's like to fight for everything. I like the fight "never give up" option much better.
So whether this round results in pregnancy or with another negative and more disappointment, I’ll try to figure out the lesson that was taught and stay as positive as I can. The best way to handle any curve ball that life throws at you is with positivity.
I decided to start doing a monthly blog where I tell you how I really feel on certain subjects. It can be anything so if you have something you want to know my feelings on, please feel free to ask!
I have had a few people ask me if I’ve ever done a cleanse? My answer is always “Hell no!” Why? Because I’ve done my research and I have found nothing that states that it is really as healthy as some people make it out to be. There are some articles that state they are healthy but honestly all of them seem to be from people who are endorsing a product. Every article I’ve read that is from an unbiased person says they really provide no beneficial outcome. In fact, to me they seem to have worse side effects than any good.
One article that I found from www.everydayhealth.com states that detox diets often have a placebo effect where the individual feels better because they believe they are doing something good for their body. The article also lists some reasons why cleanses will a lot of times do more harm than good.
· A sudden increase in fiber-heavy fruit and vegetables can lead to bloating, gas, and possibly diarrhea. This may be one reason that people believe that detox diets 'cleanse' the digestive system.
· Detox diets are not recommended for teenagers, pregnant women, or people with health conditions because of the danger from not getting enough calories and proteins.
· People with a tendency to addiction may experience a "high" from detoxing that may lead to dangerous eating disorders.
· Detox diets do not result in long-term weight loss. These diets are only meant to be used for a short period, and most people rapidly regain any lost weight once the diet is over.
· There is no real evidence that a detox diet is any better at getting rid of toxins than your body's own natural defense mechanisms.
Our bodies are created to provide its own detoxification system. If cared for properly we really don’t need to force it to detox.
We all have toxins from our food, pollutants in the air, drinks containing alcohol and caffeine, etc. There are certain things that you can do to help your body naturally release toxins.
· Drink plenty of water.
· Limit alcohol and caffeine intake.
· Try to eliminate processed foods. Eat fresh/natural products.
I really wish more people did research before starting any type of restrictive diet. I know that diet products all warn you to consult a physician before starting, but how many people actually do it? Do you know what is actually in the product you are using or how it could affect you? All articles I have read have a certain thing in common…. They all state the scientific evidence is lacking to support the benefits of cleanses.
I try to stay open minded to things but it does frustrate me when I hear people complain about needing to lose weight but they don’t want to work for it. Instead they do a cleanse for a week, lose weight (which for the most part is water), gain it all back, then complain again! I am open to feedback on this though. If you’ve done a cleanse before how did you feel? What was your purpose of starting the cleanse? Did you get the results you were wanting? I like to educate myself on all aspects of weight loss and nutrition so your input is greatly appreciated!
Wife and Mom! I love all things fitness, nature, and design inspired. Infertility warrior and new mom through adoption. Living this busy life the best way possible!