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Last week my sister started a gofundme account for our fertility costs. This was such a hard decision to make and honestly I felt extremely uncomfortable with it. I have had a mix of emotions since the fund has started. I’ve had family, friends, and complete strangers donate their money. Believe me when I say that Nate and I do not take this lightly. We are so grateful for those who have donated and shared our post. I was at work when I got word that donations were coming in and when I saw the amounts and names of those donating I broke into tears.

I wanted to set the record straight on a few things. Nate and I are fully aware of the need for adoption. If you’ve read my last blog entry you’ll know that we looked into for a few months. We paid for background checks and paperwork needed, but there is something holding us back that is personal and quite frankly, I don’t feel the need to discuss what it is. Like I’ve stated before, adoption is a beautiful thing. I am amazed at the strength and compassion that goes into being an adoptive parent. At this time it’s not in our future, but we all know how things change so quickly.

I also wanted to let everyone know what we’ve done up to this point to pay for our fertility costs. I know how it is to be hesitant to donate to someone if you don’t know what they’ve done to help themselves first. Last year alone we’ve taken money from our parents, maxed out credit cards, looked into refinancing our home which is not possible right now unfortunately, and saved every penny we could. We’ve cut back on anything that is not necessity. I look at some people who have done multiple rounds of IVF and wonder how they do it so easily, but then I remember every person has a different situation. Ours unfortunately has already taken all that we have.

To help pay for our upcoming costs, we have started making pallet signs to sale. I will start getting pictures up on my Facebook and Instagram accounts so you can purchase those if you want. For now I’ll just be making them beforehand, but might start making custom orders depending on the demand for it. My friend is also going to start making some cute bath salts and other fun craft projects to help towards our IVF Fund. Aren’t friends amazing to have?!

I started this blog at first as a way to help others with weight loss, mostly focusing on those with PCOS because it adds such an emotional toll to it, but it’s changed into something so much more. I feel like because of my honesty on the blog I’ve been able to open the eyes of those who have never been affected by infertility. I have also received so many messages from those who are struggling with it, but are not quite as open as me, who thank me for sharing what I do. I appreciate that so much because I second guess posting a lot of what I do. I try not to care what people think, but at times I worry that people feel like I post for attention which I promise I don’t. There are times I wish I could go back and never start the blog and live my life more secretive but then I think of the blessings that have come from sharing my story and I know it was meant to happen.

I just want to tell all my followers, friends, and family that your kind words of support, monetary donations, and prayers mean the world to me. I’ve gone back so many times to messages and comments that I’ve received and they’ve helped me remain positive on days I didn’t feel like myself. Because of your effect on my life I try harder every day to make the lives of those around me better. With all the hate in the world right now, it's nice to see that there are still amazing, unselfish people willing to help others. I'm so inspired right now. Again, thank you.