Do you ever try to put yourself in another person’s life? Really, truly try to grasp how they live and what they’ve gone through. We of course will never know the way their life is, but sometimes it’s nice to put yourself in someone else’s shoes to make you grateful for what you have.
Last night, Nate and I were driving home from a Utah Jazz game and he brought up an issue he had with one of his coworkers. Nate has a supervisor role at a call center so he has to deal a lot with employee reviews and stuff like that. He took one of the reps aside to discuss some work stuff and the employee started crying and bringing up his past and pretty much told Nate his whole life story. Anytime Nate has to have a hard talk with one of the reps they always bring up this big, long sob story that really has nothing to do with the present issue. Poor hubby should be getting paid Psychiatrist wages, but isn’t J
As Nate was telling me this particular experience, I kind of got frustrated because it seems that people always have some sort of sob story behind every bad thing that happens in their lives. Why can’t people just realize that maybe they haven’t put in their hardest effort at work and that’s why the performance review sucks? Quit trying to get away with putting in less than 100% because of something that happened years ago!
Think of it this way, EVERYONE has a sob story. Whether it’s a divorce, abuse, drugs, health issues, etc. We have all had something that we can hide behind for the rest of our lives, but what’s the point. The best thing you can do with those life altering moments is learn from them, not hide from it. Instead of using your parents’ divorce as an excuse, use it as motivation to learn from mistakes they’ve made and make your relationship that much better. Instead of hiding behind years of drug use, teach others the impact it has had on your life. Maybe that one talk can save someone from going down the same road you’ve been down.
If I’ve learned anything from starting this blog, its’ that being open and informative about issues will change your life as well as others. Don’t be afraid to open up about issues you’ve dealt with, just remember to embrace them instead of using it as your “crutch” through life.
I don’t know what it is but lately I’ve been mentally battling myself a lot lately. I’ve been debating on this whole clean eating and fitness lifestyle that I’ve been maintaining. It’s weird because I go through times where it’s so easy to stick with the program and then others like the last couple of weeks where I just want to stop doing it. I go through these funks where I don’t know if it’s worth it.
The hardest part is feeling alone in the process. I feel like I’m the only one battling this. No matter what I do I feel guilty lately. If I eat the pizza, guilty. If I don’t eat the pizza, guilty. I’m having a hard time finding the happy medium where I’m eating healthier, exercising, but not stressing about it. I’ve said it before, but weight loss is more a mental game than anything physical.
Here’s why I get frustrated… Why do I have to watch what I eat and exercise to get skinny when there are people out there who don’t do any of it and they have the perfect bodies? Sure I can tell myself that I’m not doing it be skinny and just because those people are skinny doesn't mean they are healthy, but do I believe it?
Here’s what I decided to do. I've made a list of all my goals, the reason why I want to accomplish them, and what could try to hold me back. Seeing the visual of them will hopefully keep me more motivated to keep going for something that I've worked at so hard for so long.
1. Get down to my ultimate goal weight safely.
a. It’s more than just a number. It’s a medal of honor in a sense, telling me that I can follow through with something that is a battle every single day and be victorious. I've gone into my weight loss journey with the idea that using any type of “weight loss supplement” was not going to happen. I will admit that at times I've been tempted to try them to get over my plateau, but I refuse. I’ll do this 100% on my own.
b. The only thing that will stop me at this point would be my self-control. I need to stay away from certain foods that I know I have no control around and practice better portion control.
2. Become the strongest version of myself.
a. I want to physically be strong. I want to have muscle definition and I want people to look at me and now that I’m a hard worker.
b. I will need to continue to try new workouts and mix it up every now and then to shock my muscles. I won’t let myself get comfortable in the gym.
3. Help inspire others to become better people.
a. I want to help others be stronger, lose weight, smarter in their food decisions, less self-conscious, and overall happier people.
b. Feeling like people are judging me for it. I know people are always going to have something to say, but I need to stop letting it bug me. From this moment on, people who want judge me or talk down on my lifestyle can suck it :)
I hope this article has in some way helped people understand that it’s okay to doubt yourself and second guess why you are on this journey. It’s okay as long as you don’t give into your doubt. Always remember why you started and what it means for your overall well-being. Some people are lucky and never have to deal with weight loss, but everyone should be aware of what is going in to their body whether you are fat or skinny. As long as healthy decisions are being made more frequently then unhealthy you should be proud of your progress. I've made some good points, now it’s time for me to start following my own advice :) I've come a long ways and I'll never forget it. This article has helped myself realize that I need to stop stressing so much and enjoy the journey.
You wouldn't think that respecting yourself would be that hard. For some it's not and for others it's a constant battle. Lately, I've seen a lot of girls via social media displaying some questionable actions. Here's my advice for those certain individuals :) P.S. please take this with a bit of sarcasm. My aim is not to offend anyone just maybe bring some insight to the situations.
1. If he cheats with you, he'll cheat on you.
Men are easy creatures to figure out. They are creatures of habit. So if he cheats on his "significant other" with you, there is a very good chance he'll cheat on you with someone else. His "habit" is cheating and trying to find the next best thing because he is lacking something in his own life. It has nothing to do with the person before you or the woman before her, it's him. He is missing something in life and having sex with some new pretty girl is how he's dealing with it. I know people can change, but seriously be very weary of him. Respect yourself enough to break his cycle and get out before you become just another girl to him. Don't fool yourself in thinking you can change him, you can't. You should never go into a relationship where you feel you need to change each other. If you're okay with him cheating previously and you wouldn't change it, then good on ya and good luck :)
2. Why blend in, when you were born to stand out?
I see soooo many girls who are constantly changing themselves for friends, boyfriends, family, etc. I get that change is inevitable. We all have to change or we would never learn what we like and don't like. But when you're changing your ways because you feel like you have to to "fit in" then it's time to stop. Stop trying to be like these people that won't accept you if you are different. I promise you that once you stay true to who you are, you will be the absolute happiest in life you've ever been. If they truly like you, they'll accept your differences and respect you for staying true to yourself.
3. It's all about respect.
I am amazed at the lack of respect I see young women show themselves these days. Most of all, I'm amazed at the lack of discipline and respect that parents are showing their own daughters. Parents: respect your daughters enough to make them change their clothes if they are leaving the house looking like a two dollar whore when they are 14. Respect them enough to teach them that being smart, nice, and caring is far more important than getting attention from boys by being mean, acting dumb, and dressing completely inappropriate. Teach your kids to respect their teachers and leaders. These people will have a high influence on their lives if they let them.
I know I may not have any experience in most of these areas, however sometimes the best advice comes from someone with an unbiased opinion. I have been on this quest of self acceptance for a while now and it has taught me so much about myself that I can't wait to teach my daughters. I can't wait to show them that in a world full of hatred and disrespect that she can be strong and soft all at the same time. Strong enough to stand up for herself and what is right, but soft enough to accept herself and others.
I’ve let fear hold me back a lot in life. I let fear control me in a way that I never should have. Fear has stopped me from accomplishing my goals, it has made me make life choices that would have never been made, and it has pushed me in a way that I never knew possible.
I know I talk a lot about my previous marriage quite a bit in my entries, but that one relationship has shaped my life in the best way possible. I won’t go in to too much detail regarding the details of this relationship, but I lived in fear every single day. I didn’t fear for my life or anything like that, but I did fear for my future. I was constantly scared of how we were going to pay bills, whether or not he was going to lose his current job, and scared of how he would treat me that day. For 5 years I lived in a constant state of relentless fear.
At the end of our marriage my ex was on drugs. That was the final straw. He was completely uncontrollable, didn’t make any sense when talking, would wake up screaming and fighting with me for no reason, call be horrible names, etc. I was pushed past the sense of fear and had only one option and that was to be brave. I was brave enough to pack up one suitcase, my work computer, and leave.
I am telling you this because I truly believe that this one life experience has shaped the rest of my life for the better. I had to be brave and have gained so many amazing things because of it. Knowing that amazing things can be the result of fear has led me to make a decision about something I’ve been debating on for a while.
Lately I have been feeling like something was missing in my life. I couldn’t put a finger on it but I knew I needed something to challenge me. I have had the most fun in my life losing weight and gaining a knowledge of what my body needs and what it can do. I have been scared to go through with it, but I have finally decided to get my certificate in Fitness Nutrition. I want to be able to fully help and educate others about how to lose weight, get the proper nutrition, and build muscle the correct way. I’m so excited I can hardly stand it! I eventually want to design meal plans, fitness plans, and more for my clients. I know how overwhelming making a lifestyle change can be, and I want to help ease that feeling a little bit.
I’ve got this dream inside of me and I’m no longer going to let the fear of “not being successful” stand in my way any longer. I want to help those who are too scared to reach out to someone because they are self-conscious or afraid to take that step in life. Most of all I want to help people know what it feels like to be brave.
Lets talk about food. It's no surprise that I love food. I like it so much that I ate myself to being 150 pounds over weight. I like it, I like it ALOT (insert Jim Carrey impersonation here)! Anyways, learning to deal with my love of food has been a constant struggle since starting my weight loss journey 3 years ago.
3 years ago I tried the whole "restriction" diet where I limited my calories to 1200, no sweets, no pasta, etc. I was ornery, light headed, and craved everything I couldn't have. When I'm told that I can't do something, I say "watch me"! Same thing with food. If I can't have chocolate, I eat it! It's a total mind game.
I've went back and forth with it for a while until I read up on flexible dieting. As I was reading it I thought that it made a lot of sense and seemed easier than what I was currently doing. So I started counting my macros. I had a hard time hitting my macros. I was always over my carbs and never even close to my protein. It frustrated me so I quit doing it.
Fast forward 2 years and I am finally confident in my food choices. I've had a moment of clarity where I realized that I've got to change the way my mind thinks about food. It's not a reward and it's not all about taste (however who wants to eat gross food?) What you've really got to do is train your mind to think of how the food you are about to eat is going to help your body. Does your body need the carbs or is that just you wanting the carbs? Does your body need the chocolate or would it benefit from an apple more?
My moment of clarification came after I'd been lifting and going to the gym for a while. I was putting in so much work and didn't want to feel like I was wasting my time. Since changing my way of thinking and have got the hang of counting macros, I have seen way better results. I'm toning up, building muscle, and still losing some weight.
Wife and Mom! I love all things fitness, nature, and design inspired. Infertility warrior and new mom through adoption. Living this busy life the best way possible!