Let yourself become so scared that you are forced to be brave.

I’ve let fear hold me back a lot in life. I let fear control me in a way that I never should have. Fear has stopped me from accomplishing my goals, it has made me make life choices that would have never been made, and it has pushed me in a way that I never knew possible.

I know I talk a lot about my previous marriage quite a bit in my entries, but that one relationship has shaped my life in the best way possible. I won’t go in to too much detail regarding the details of this relationship, but I lived in fear every single day. I didn’t fear for my life or anything like that, but I did fear for my future. I was constantly scared of how we were going to pay bills, whether or not he was going to lose his current job, and scared of how he would treat me that day. For 5 years I lived in a constant state of relentless fear.

At the end of our marriage my ex was on drugs. That was the final straw. He was completely uncontrollable, didn’t make any sense when talking, would wake up screaming and fighting with me for no reason, call be horrible names, etc. I was pushed past the sense of fear and had only one option and that was to be brave. I was brave enough to pack up one suitcase, my work computer, and leave.

I am telling you this because I truly believe that this one life experience has shaped the rest of my life for the better. I had to be brave and have gained so many amazing things because of it. Knowing that amazing things can be the result of fear has led me to make a decision about something I’ve been debating on for a while.

Lately I have been feeling like something was missing in my life. I couldn’t put a finger on it but I knew I needed something to challenge me. I have had the most fun in my life losing weight and gaining a knowledge of what my body needs and what it can do. I have been scared to go through with it, but I have finally decided to get my certificate in Fitness Nutrition. I want to be able to fully help and educate others about how to lose weight, get the proper nutrition, and build muscle the correct way. I’m so excited I can hardly stand it! I eventually want to design meal plans, fitness plans, and more for my clients. I know how overwhelming making a lifestyle change can be, and I want to help ease that feeling a little bit.

I’ve got this dream inside of me and I’m no longer going to let the fear of “not being successful” stand in my way any longer. I want to help those who are too scared to reach out to someone because they are self-conscious or afraid to take that step in life. Most of all I want to help people know what it feels like to be brave.