August will forever go into Nate and Whitney’s history as the month where we thought I had lost my mind. I was on my first round of these particular fertility meds and I was CRAZY! There was no telling what mood I was going to be in from one second to the next. I was happy, sad, angry, depressed, and hyper. All at the same time. I literally felt like I had completely gone off the deep end. I didn’t even want to be around myself, so I knew Nate didn’t want me around.
I ended up not getting pregnant that round which sucked, but I still felt okay about things. I am optimistic that things will happen soon. We took a break in September for financial reasons and for me to regain my sanity! October rolled around and we chose to try again.
The beginning of October I started Femara 5mg for 5 days. I went into this round with the mindset that I knew what to expect and I would control my emotions better. Which I have…. For the most part. Everything was going great. I felt good, minus a few hot flashes and one day of an awful headache, until the Café Rio incident happened.
One of my co-workers had given me a few full punch cards for free meals from Café Rio, so we decided that’s what we’d do for dinner that night. I ordered online and we drove to pick it up. I told Nate to drop me off at the door and I’d run in to grab it. We pull up and I try to get out, but my car keeps the doors auto-locked until the car is in park. Well that pissed me off that Nate didn’t think to put the car in park, he should know this, how dare he! (I’m totally laughing at myself right now btw!)
I finally get out of the car and walk up to the counter to get my order. Immediately behind me there are two young boys, probably around 7 years old, whining to their mom to get them a water cup. They were annoying and I gave them a deathly glare. I bought my food, grabbed my drink cups, and walked to the drink station. I was politely waiting in line, minding my own business, and suddenly those two boys ran right in front of me and started filling their cups up. I let it slide because they were still young enough to not know better. Then their big brother who was taller than me and looked to be about 15 comes along and starts pushing me out of the way. I completely lost it on this kid. I yelled at him and may or may not have used my big purse to push back. He wasn’t 7 and he definitely should have known better to butt in line at the drink station! I filled my cups up and walked out of there like a boss!
This made me realize two things. 1. Women going through fertility treatments should come with a warning label. Like maybe a big sticker on the forehead that says “Jacked up on Femara and Freaking crazy!” or “Hormonal- stay away!” 2. No matter how much we try to control our emotions, we can’t. Our bodies are going crazy trying to produce eggs and all that fun stuff.
For all those concerned for Nates well-being, he is fine. As long as he has sports and food he will get through it! He has been amazing at trying to understand me through this process and I love him more now than ever. Having a support system as great as him makes me realize that I can make it through anything!
Hi my name is Whitney and I'm a mom to 2 adorable boys. Here you'll find our story of infertility, adoption, grief, and hope. I'm an open book so you'll never know what I'll post next!