Last month we had our first post placement visit with Rhett’s birth mom. I am very much a type A personality. I like to know what I’m getting myself into, plan everything, and I hate when plans change last second so these types of meetings are always hard for me. I never know how the emotions are going to be, if the conversation will be pleasant, or if words will be hurtful or judgmental. Our post placement agreement is that we will do 4 updates a year and 2 visits. We’ve set up a private Facebook group with her, so we are able to update her frequently, but this was our first face to face visit since Rhett’s birth.
We drove to Vegas on Friday which is about a 4-hour drive from our house. Rhett was a freaking rock star and barely even whined. We did stop in St.George to grab a few things at Walmart and to get him out of the car seat. This boy loves to shop, and people watch. I think he likes it so much because he’s always getting attention by people in the stores! We got to Vegas, ate dinner, and tried to sleep. I was nervous and couldn’t sleep and Rhett was out of his element and couldn’t sleep. Needless to say, it was a really rough first night. I’ve pulled all-nighters in Vegas before, but never this kind 😊
On Saturday morning, we agreed to meet BM (Birthmom) at a park outside of Vegas. We got there a bit early, so we got Rhett out and let him explore a bit. It was nice getting there before her, so we could pick the spot to sit and relax a bit. The park was super busy with a cross country meet going on but had a really nice playground and splash pad. We met at 10 am and it was already 95 degree's out. It's so, so hot in Vegas!
Birth mom and birth Grandma showed up a few minutes late and immediately found us. They were both taken back with how big Rhett had gotten. His birth mom bought him a bunch of nice winter clothes and shoes. We brought her a birthday gift that she was appreciative of. The conversation was easy, flowed, and she kept praising how great we were doing with him. A lot of people ask how Rhett was towards her and I had that same question before hand. Would he gravitate towards her? Remember her in a sense? No. He still crawled to me for comfort and kept his eye on me to make sure I wasn’t leaving him. I’m his safe place and his mom. Best feeling ever!
The meeting lasted about an hour and went as smoothly as possible. There were really no emotions involved, which I’m learning is his birth mom’s demeanor. I’m sure they get best of her at times, but while she’s with us she is always poised and strong. She played, held, and loved on him. I could tell the meeting really put her heart at peace.
I have a lot of people intrigued about our adoption and how it went. I really have to say we were so lucky with how smooth of a process it was for us. I can’t say enough good things about the agency we went with. They helped us before placement, during our match, and now after placement. About a week before our meeting I called my social worker at the agency because I was kind of freaking out. She let me know what to expect and what ground rules I could make, if needed. She really put my mind at ease.
Our birth mom has been easy to work with and I think our post placement plan is working out great so far. We overall feel so lucky with how it all played out and even more lucky that we were blessed with our little bundle.
Wife and Mom! I love all things fitness, nature, and design inspired. Infertility warrior and new mom through adoption. Living this busy life the best way possible!