Journey <3

​Last week I had a dental appointment where I found out I need a dental implant and an old root canal fixed (Thank you dad for the teeth genetics). The dentist was going over the price of it all before he asked when I’d like to get it scheduled. After the shock of the price tag wore off I told him I’d have to wait because we don’t the money right now. I let him know that we just adopted, and our funds are still feeling the sting of it all. After he worked the price out a bit (super nice dentist!) he left the room while the assistant helped the rest of the time. She started asking me questions about the adoption and told me that her and her husband are debating on trying IVF or going straight to adoption. I told her that we had literally tried it all before feeling the revelation to move forward with adoption.  She asked me if I regret any of it, I replied with “No” but it isn’t an easy no. Nothing about our journey has been easy.

Do I regret taking/borrowing money from my parents to pay for our IVF and IVF with donor egg cycles? Yes. I really wish I didn’t have that hanging over our heads. Do I regret all the shots, tears, prayers, and crushed dreams. No. It’s made me who I am and it’s made my marriage stronger. Since becoming a mom to Rhett it really has all made sense. Would I have loved a child, biological or adopted, the same way I love Rhett if it had happened years ago? Sure, but it wouldn’t be Rhett. Before we even met him the universe knew he was out there waiting for us.

Whatever your journey in life is or has been there is always a lesson to learn. Usually it takes being out of the situation to really understand what is being taught at that moment. My goal as a new mom is to trust the process and enjoy the whole journey as we are going through it. I've learned in the short 4 months that parenthood is a lot of unexpected. 

Now that I’m able to step back and relive the years of trying to become parents I can see things clearly. I’m able to take lessons from every heartbreak and setback that we’ve had. I now know that the trials have made me stronger. They’ve given me the strength it will take to be an adoptive mom. There is no doubt that adoption holds a different set of parenting obstacles. I’d be lying if I said the future doesn’t scare me a little bit, but I know we will get through it. Our journey to parenthood is done but our journey as parents is just beginning. Journeys never fully stop. They shift directions, but keep moving, and that’s what we will do together as a family.

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