Love, Nurture, and Fate

While making the decision how to move forward with starting our family I was lead to adoption a few times before we actually started the adoption process. I kept backing out and not bringing it up to Nate because I had one huge worry... would we love this baby if it was not genetically tied to us? This worry was all in God’s timing. I had to work out the fear before moving forward. For those still in the wait, undecided on how to move forward, know this. The love of a child does not come solely on genetics. It comes from nurturing, love, and fate. I promise you that when you hold that baby in your arms you will feel love, you will have to desire to nurture him, and you will know fate brought you together.

When I held Rhett for the first time my heart was at complete peace for the first time in years. I knew without a doubt that he was mine, not genetically but spiritually. I was meant to love him. And boy do I love him. I love waking up to his cries every morning. I love watching his hands clasp his bottle that he so impatiently waited for. I love hearing him call me mama and his daddy dada. I love his dark brown eyes (that look nothing like mine) light up when he sees me. Most of all, I love how much he loves me. He loves me because I’m there. I nurture his every need and want. He loves me in all my imperfect glory. He’s loved me through learning everything about being a mom and he’s loved me through my bad days.

I know sometimes it feels like your heart will never heal. Like you’ll never know what it’s like to love so deeply it hurts, but I promise you will. Open your heart and let god (or whatever higher power you believe in) guide you to make the best decision. You’re worthy of love, you have a nurturing soul, and fate will find its way to you.