Can you say excited and nervous? We are both right now! We have secretly been working on our home study since February and haven’t wanted to say anything until it was official, but last week we got our approved home study confirmation. Now we want to shout it from the rooftops!
10 years of trying, 6 miscarriages, and too many tears later I’ve learned to trust in timing. I strongly believe that I had to go through what I’ve been through in order to make the decision to adopt. We have talked about it before, but there was always something holding me back. That is why we chose to go with the Donor egg IVF route. I had to try again. Not necessarily because I wanted to have a child biologically tied to us. I know now that it was a test to see if I was listening.
After we lost our last baby, I couldn’t even think of trying again whether that was through pregnancy or adoption. The thought of putting myself out there only to be hurt again scared me. I didn’t know if I could physically or mentally handle it. We took months off to regain our strength and to mentally refocus our lives. During the months of refocus, I finally realized that I’ve been through enough “Maybe’s” and I’m ready for my “someday”. I know without a doubt that I will “someday” be a mom.
Adoption is a world of unknowns and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t overwhelmed and scared. I’m scared to put myself out there, get matched with a baby, and have the adoption fall through. I’m even more overwhelmed at the thought of having everything work out and the emotions I’ve going to feel when I finally get to look at our child in their eyes. The level of emotions I’m going through is what’s getting through this time of waiting. It’ll be worth it in the end.
A few months ago, I was feeling really scared and had a lot of anxiety. I was sitting at work, itching for lunch to start so I could get out of the office and cry. I decided to grab a sandwich and go to a quiet lake. While I was there I sat on a bench and just soaked in the quiet. I finished my lunch, but still had time until I needed to head back to work so I took a walk around the lake. I remember thinking and hoping that I was strong enough to go through our adoption plan. I was feeling so full of doubt until I felt a complete calmness take over me and a subconscious whisper tell me “you are” Those 2 words have directed my life in more ways than one since that day. I no longer doubt that I am going in the right direction. I know that I am strong enough and I know that I am married to the strongest person I know. We are more than ready to go through with this plan and we are more than ready to welcome a child into our home.
Right now we are asking for shares on all social media accounts. The more we get our names out there, the better our chances of being matched with our future child will be. We've already been overwhelmed with the amount of support given. I love the people in our life and I have faith that this is going to work. Check back here frequently for updates.... I hope you are ready to experience this craziness with us. It's going to be fun!
Hi my name is Whitney and I'm a mom to 2 adorable boys. Here you'll find our story of infertility, adoption, grief, and hope. I'm an open book so you'll never know what I'll post next!