As this year wound down I couldn't help but reflect back on all that had happened. We've moved into a new home, gotten promotions at our jobs, saved money, went on vacations, and started our adoption plan. As luck would have it, on one of our vacations we got some huge news!
We went active with our agency in June and had our profile shown to quite a few expectant families. Every time we got the same email "Sorry but they chose a different family". Every time it hurt. We both knew that our time would come, but with every no we began to feel defeated. We were getting ready for a vacation to Mexico that Nate won at work so we thought it would be a great time to escape and not worry about the adoption for a week. 2 days before we were leaving a new situation came up at our agency. I read the profile on the expectant mom and felt like we should put in for it, even though we were technically taking a break. Nate agreed to show our profile to the EM (Expectant mom) so I sent an email to our social worker letting her know we were interested. With our agency once you put in for the situation you wait a few days until the case is closed and then you listen into a phone call with the social worker from the agency and the EM. They answer question and go over general information about the situation. After the call takes place the EM is shown the profiles and then chooses who she'd like to parent her child.
We were in Puerto Vallarta when the call took place. So we sat under a tiki hut, drinking a pina colada, as we listened in to the call and heard answers about some of questions we had about the birthmom and pregnancy. After the call we went about our day jumping from pool to pool and enjoying our vacation. We decided to grab our belongings and go to another pool on the resort and I looked at my phone and seen that I had missed calls from our agency and an email. I thought it would be the usual email we received several times before, but it wasn't! This one was titled "Birthmother C- Interested!!!" Holy crap, we freaked out! This was closer than we had ever been!
We got back from vacation a few days later and on September 12th we did a skype call with the social worker from the agency, the birthmom, and her sister. I was so nervous. I couldn't concentrate on anything. This was first impression that you really wanted to be positive. The call went great though. We asked them questions and they asked us a lot. We were completely honest and genuine. At the end of the call the birth mom said she already knew but the call confirmed that she would love for us to be her sons' parents. We were shocked, happy, and completely in awe. In 6 short weeks, we would be parents!
2 weeks after we were matched we agreed to drive to Las Vegas to meet face to face. I was once again so nervous that the conversation would be awkward and there would be a lot of silence. The visit went so good and we had constant conversation for 3 hours as we ate lunch at the Olive Garden.
The week leading up to the due date was so hectic. I literally had my phone on me at all times just in case we got the call. We finally heard from our social worker that the doctor agreed to induce her if she hadn't had him by her due date. We left work early and headed to Vegas on 11-29-17 so we could be there for everything as per the birthmoms request. They induced her around 10 am on 11-30-17 and we sat with her in the room for hours. Her progress was extremely slow so we went back to our hotel room to get some sleep. We woke up early and got to her room around 9 that morning. She let us know that her water broke at some point in the night. We were so relieved because she had already been there for so long and we really wanted her to be as comfortable as possible.
Her labor was still very slow until it actually came time to push. She was so exhausted and overwhelmed (the hospital was a student hospital so there were a TON of residents in the delivery room). I remember the exact moment we seen our son. I vividly remember his hair and his bright red lips. The rest of the delivery process was a blur until I had him laying on my chest doing skin on skin. Everything was right in the world at that exact moment. His first breath answered every prayer we've said over the years.
Our birthmom was very emotional right after delivery, but I do remember looking at her while Rhett was laying on my chest and we both had understanding in our eyes. I knew how she felt and vice versa. We both love this little boy more than anything and both our actions speak for that. We have a bond that no one will understand. I want her life to be everything she wants it to be and I most importantly want her to be happy and content with the decision she made to have us parent.
The days after delivery were rough. The hospital we were in was awful and not adoption friendly by any means. Rhett and I were able to stay in the post partum room with the birth mom, but they refused to make accommodations for Nate to stay so he had to come back and forth throughout the day. In the end I'm glad I got the time with our birth mom. I learned a lot about her and her family that I will be able to tell Rhett about as he gets older.
The relinquishment papers were signed 72 hours after birth and we were released to leave the hospital and wait for our ICPC clearance from Nevada and Utah before we could head home. My mom rented an Airbnb for us where she was waiting with decorations, a home cooked meal, and a huge smile on her face. It was so nice having her there. She had to leave a few days later so my sister, Dad, and nephew came to stay and help out. My other sister and her family surprised us and showed up on our doorstep. It was just what I needed at the time. I could feel depression and myself getting very stir crazy starting to happen. I am so glad that my family is as close and supportive as they are because I needed every ounce of it. Rhett has already brought our families closer than ever in the short 4 weeks he's been here. 12 days after birth, on 12-14-17 we were cleared to head back to Utah!
Life has been so different with Rhett in our lives. I won't lie and say it's been all bliss, but I think of all that we've gone through to get him here with us and everything is completely worth it. As I go back to the moment we found out we would be parents I can't help but thank god for all that we've gone through to get to this. We've had so many things go wrong along the way and all of it has shaped us into the parents that Rhett needs. I fully understand gods plan now. Every time I look at our son I am reminded that he is where he was meant to be and we were meant to be his parents.
Hi my name is Whitney and I'm a mom to 2 adorable boys. Here you'll find our story of infertility, adoption, grief, and hope. I'm an open book so you'll never know what I'll post next!